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babala sa mga pinagpalang makadinig:

napag-alamang malilipat ang oras ng pagpasok ng mga makakating-labi at mala-kwebang bunganga sa oras na nangingibabaw ang katahimikan. mangyari lamang na ihanda ang tenga, isip, at sikmura sa kung ano mang kababalaghang mangyayari. i-charge ng husto ang mga kagamitang pang-musika, kumain ng maaga at mabilis o di kaya'y magpahuli sa normal na oras ng tanghalian para maiwasan ang kaangasan ng mga halimaw na walang magawa sa oras ng trabaho.

Balik Eskwela

Kasabay ng pagbalik ng mga bagets sa eskwela eh naisipan kong magbalik aral sa mga samu't-saring bokabularyo, geography, history and current affairs lessons na natutunan ko (at nakapagpagulo sa isip ko) courtesy of our "trusty" and "reliable sources" from the neighboring cubicles.

Subject One: Vocabulary
Teacher: Ms. Pakituwid-dila

serts -
paghahanap ng isang bagay
"Ang hirap naman nung take home assignment ko, mai-SERTS nga sa Google."

Berney -
ang purple dinosaur na mahilig kumanta ng "I love you,you love me, we're a happy family..." at sikat na sikat sa mga munting tsikiting.
"Bakla ba si BERNEY?" (halaw sa tunay na usapan)

Ka-eyds:
ka+ english term for edad (age)
"KA-EYDS lang pala natin siya noh?"

Musimo:
brand ng damit
"Yung kuya ko, lahat halos ng t-shirt nya MUSIMO."

JAY ZAY:
sikat na hip-hop artist
"Di ba si JAY ZAY yung boyfriend ni Beyonce?"

bistprind:
matalik na kaibigan
"Sinong BISPRIND mo doon?"

SOKA:
a.) ung nilalabas ng katwan mo pag sobrang lasing o naglilihi o di maganda ang pakiramdam mo.
b.) yung sawsawang maasim na partner ng toyo.
"Paborito kong magsawsaw sa SOKA'T toyo."

ITEKITA:
hindi po ito salitang Hapon. Ito yung maliit na papel kung saan nakasulat yung presyo.
"Ang ganda sana nung dress kaso nung tignan ko yung ITEKITA nalula ako sa presyo."

SOBRANG ATATZ:
nagmamadali (with z para maging plural at ma-stress ang sobrang pagmamadali)
"Bakit parang lahat kayo SOBRANG ATATZ ng umuwi?"

*Paalala: Ang mga sumusunod na salita ay di angkop sa mga batang mambabasa...

DIKWAT:
kuhanin ng walang paalam.
"Yung kapitbahay namin nalugi yung tindahan, pano ang hilig manDIKWAT nung mga anak ng paninda."

DAVID C*CK:
(huling salita ay patungkol sa _____ ni junior)
"Si DAVID C*CK ang nanalo sa nakaraang American Idol Season 7."

Subject Two: Geography/History and Current Events
Teacher: Ms. Balikmokosaelem and Ms. Basatayophilgeo

Kung ang iyong kapatid, pamangkin, pinsan, anak ng kapitbahay, anak ng pinsan ng kapitbahay mo, anak ng kaibigan ng mommy ng nanay mo eh may gurong ganito, maaring simulan mo na silang payuhan na ilipat ng eskwelahan ang kanilang mga tsiking.

Ms. Balikmokosaelem:

Ms. Balikmokosaelem:"Sa sobrang ganda nung mga pinapakitang lugar sa mga Chinovelang napapanood ko, gusto ko na tuloy pumunta sa CHINA, The Land of the Rising Sun."
Ms. Basatayophilgeo: Talaga. Naks! Sama mo ko ha.

Note:
Japan: Land of the Rising Sun
China: Red Dragon

Ms. Basatayophilgeo

Ms. Basatayophilgeo: "Nabalitaan mo na ba? Dinukot si Ces Drilon."
Ms. Balikmokosaelem: "Ha?Kelan? Bakit?"
Ms. Basatayophilgeo: Eh kasi pumuta sya sa Sulu nung weekend, me iinterviewhin sya dapat na mataas na chever, tapos ayun, hindi na makontak, dinukot na ng ARMM."

Note:
*Ang ARMM o Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao ay isang rehiyon sa Pilipinas na binubuo ng Basilan, Lanao del Sur, Maguindanao, Shariff Kabunsuan, Sulu and Tawi-Tawi at Marawi.
**Ayon sa balita, si Ces Drilon pati na ang crew nito ay hinarang ng isang grupo ng armadong kalalakihan na di umano'y miyembro ng Abu Sayyaf habang ang una ay nasa assignment nito sa Sulu.

soulmates

she was the girl of his dreams. he was the man of hers. together they would walk the office halls like they were in the most beautiful garden in paradise. the elevators to them were a sanctuary where they could freely hold themselves, forever if they could, and the ladies' room appeared to be her home, where he would deliver her and then wait for her for a period of time that seemed like....eternity.
ah they were in love. it was the two of them against the world. other people were villains.bad people. terrible beings who were out to take them away from each other.never would they let anything come in between them.

and while they scowl at other people for getting within at least a three-meter radius from where they are standing, thinking that they will be forbidden to ever see each other, those "other" people, bless their aesthetic taste, are actually staring with utmost disgust at these two....creatures; one taking the form of CLIFFORD, the host of MUPPETS TONIGHT, and the other a female...being sporting a poor imitation of rihanna's old hair cut and exuding a bruhalike expression of dont-you-dare-look-at-my-stud. (ay grabe ang cute nyong dalawa...talga??UTU-UTO!!!!)

together they are the defective couple, and may God have mercy on their children's souls.

sayang ang miles

to the people in this office who walk 200 miles a day just going back and forth their stations: if you find yourself getting off your seat more than five times within an hour to get water or coffee or to take a leak, or even to buy food or eat in the pantry, news flash: YOU'RE NOT DOING YOUR JOB.

when you've gotten tired of taking a nap or secretly viewing friendster on your sad, internet-restricted computers, or when you feel the need to watch koreanovelas at work WHILE YOU WORK, YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOT WORKING.

when you feel the need to go to work just to BLAB about your pathetic day with your fellow LOUDMOUTH friends, while you walk around in an expensive-looking coat that doesn't actually look good on you, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT OF COMING TO THE OFFICE.

ang opisina, bagama't isang lugar kung saan makakatagpo ng tunay na kaibigan, ay HINDI BAHAY at lalong hindi KAPITBAHAY. kung gusto nyong magdaldalan, go ahead. just make sure that the planet of the apes NOISE that is produced by your BIG MOUTH doesn't echo in the whole production floor. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR BOSS, who is humbly right down that corner. if you can't find anything better to do here, GO HOME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and GIVE US SOME PEACE AND QUIET.

at sa mga lalaking lakad ng lakad, PUMIRMI KAYO. The hallway is not a freaking ramp. neither is it a basketball court.YOU ARE NOT AS LIGHT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE.

Office Ambiance

Dahil sa pgiging sensitibo ng mga kuro-kurong aking ilalahad ay itago na lang natin ang mga katauhan ng mga bida.


Ate One: Uy, Ate Two, anjan na si Ateng Lunch sa labas, bili na tayo.
Ate Two: (Parang nahihipnotismong susunod kay Ate One at sasabayan ito sa pagbili ng pagkain)

-- after 15 minutes --

Ate One: Tara kain na tayo.
Ate Two: Cge. (Parang asong bubuntotulit kay Ate One)

-- after 1 hour lunch break --

Ate One: Ate Two nag-coffee ka na?
Ate Two: Tara coffee tayo. (pero minsan nama'y nakukuha nyang tumanggi)

--pagsapit ng 3pm--

Ate One: Nagugutom na ko. Anjan na ata si Ateng Meryenda sa labas. Tara bili tayo.
Ate Two: (wala nanamang imik na susunod)

minsan ay may manaka-nakang imbitasyon si Ate One ng side trip sa CR...

Ate One: Naiihi ako sinong gustong sumama?

-- After 30 mins break at 1 hour na tsismisan sa pantry, babalik sa kanilang bay, kunwari magtratrabaho and after 45 mins--

Ate One: Ate Two anong oras ka uuwi?
Ate Two: (mag-iisip...magsasalita ng biglang)
Ate One: Tara uwi na tayo ng 7.


At habang umaalingawngaw sa ere ang mala-musika nilang boses (ehem!) sila'y sinasabayan pa ni Ate Three na ang mala-King Kong na tawa ay parang hinugot yata sa ilalim ng banga at nonstop (as in nonstop) kung magkuwento.

Minsan tuloy naisip ko, kailangan ba talgang ipaalam sa madlang bayan na ihing ihi ka na? (take the case of Ate One) at ang ikuwento ang samu't saring episode ng Koreanovela in her "ang-ganda-ganda-ko-at-ng-boses-ko-mode" YAK!

How's that for an office ambiance?

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